


Born To Be Wild

by Greenlady, Jen Hall (Greenlady)



Series: Twenty/Twenty [11]
Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-07-16 09:47:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16083578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenlady/pseuds/Greenlady, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenlady/pseuds/Jen%20Hall
Summary: Hutch's grandmother is born to be wild.





	1. Chapter 1

 

‘Get your motor running!  Head out on the highway!’  Grandmother sang along with the radio in the Torino, as Starsky steered the car onto the highway and opened the throttle.  The Torino took off like an eagle launching itself from the nest in pursuit of prey. 

‘Oh, yeah!’ said Starsky. 

‘Yeehaw!’ said Grandmother.  ‘I knew the old girl still had it in her.  Born to be wiiiild!’  She’d insisted on coming along with Starsky on what she’d called his ‘maiden voyage’ in the Torino.  ‘We have a connection,’ she’d said.  ‘Even after all these years, and I can give you some tips about driving her, though I’m sure you’re a good driver.  Besides, I’d love to sit in the front seat as she tears up the highway.  I can’t drive her any more.  Haven’t been behind a wheel of any kind in years, but I’ve had dreams.  So many dreams.’ She’d sighed, then brightened up. ‘Once I thought I’d never get out of that bloody old folk’s home.’

Now here they were, trying out the Torino’s paces, and singing old rock songs.

“I like smoke and lightning, heavy metal thunder, racin’ with the wind, and the feelin’ that I’m under, yeah darlin’ go make it happen, take the world in a love embrace, fire all of your guns at once and explode into space!”

‘Wow!’ said Starsky.  ‘You really know all the words.’

‘Of course I do.  I grew up in the Fifties, but I didn’t much like the music.  Too sappy for the most part, so when the Beatles came along…. The Beatles. The Stones.  Steppenwolf…. Born to be wiiiiild!’ She finished on a high note, and lay back in her seat and closed her eyes.

‘You okay?’ Starsky asked. 

‘I’m fine.  Just happy to be out of that crypt I’ve been living in for years.  You know?’

‘I bet.’

They soared down the highway, singing at the top of their lungs for a while, until Grandmother suggested Starsky pull onto a side road and park.  ‘Hoho!’ she chuckled at his raised eyebrow.  ‘You’re adorable, kid, but you’re way too young for me.  My heart wouldn’t survive the experience.  No, but I do still have a few things I want to experience again while I have the chance. This being one of them.’ 

She opened her purse and took out a small metal box.  Opened the box and took out a joint. ‘I rolled this myself,’ she said, proudly.  ‘Lucy got the pot for me. All the way from Canada, like Steppenwolf.  It’s B.C. Bud.’

Starsky whistled.  ‘That’s just about the best in the world,’ he said. 

‘You going to arrest me for this, Officer?’

‘Nope.  I figure you deserve it.  Need a light?’  He lit the joint for her, and sat back to watch her smoke. 

She chuckled.  ‘I figured you weren’t as innocent as you looked,’ she said.  ‘And you don’t look all that innocent.’

‘Hutch looks as innocent as an angel,’ said Starsky. 

After a long moment, Grandmother said, ‘And?’  She offered him a drag on her joint, and he took it.  When he handed it back, she stared a moment at the burning end.  ‘I get the feeling Ken didn’t tell me everything that went down at that place.’

‘Probably not,’ said Starsky. 

‘But you don’t feel that it’s your story to tell.’

‘Hutch doesn’t want everyone to know the full story. And….and he’s been trying to forget it. Deliberately forget.  It’s harder to forget than it was to remember.’

‘Remember?   He had to recover some memories?’

‘Yeah,’ said Starsky.

‘Okay,’ said Grandmother. ‘My outrage grows deeper.’

Starsky cleared his throat.  ‘There is something I’d like to know,’ he said.  ‘Hutch hinted at something odd about the way his Grandad died.’

‘He didn’t tell you the whole story?’

‘All I knew before was that he’d died, and since he was his grandfather, I didn’t question it.  I figured it was natural causes.’

‘Old age, hmmm?  Well, no.’

‘Hutch said he didn’t have his watch.’

‘Oh, yeah.  Svend often left it at home when he went out,  especially to New York.  With it being a Rolex, you see.’

‘He died in New York?’  Starsky felt a shiver go down his back.  ‘When was this?’ he asked. 

‘It was on 9/11,’ said Grandmother.  ‘He went to see a friend, who was working in the Twin Towers.  They never made it out, and things were never the same, of course.  Not just for the country, I mean, but for our family.  I had a stroke.  I mostly recovered, but no one is ever the same after that.  William was always conservative, but he became even more so.  If Svend had been alive when Ken came out as gay, he would have stood by him with me, and we might have stopped that whole gay conversion boondoggle.  And I wouldn’t have been shoved away in the crypt for years.’

‘We might not be sitting here puffing on a joint, though,’ said Starsky. 

‘Yes, there you are.  If things had been different, you and Ken may never have met.’

‘I would give up any amount of my own happiness to save Hutch pain,’ said Starsky.  ‘But I can’t help being happy we did meet.  He’s a stone cold fox, and I love him.’

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

‘Now see, Svend and I were part of the Counterculture.  But we weren’t Revolutionaries. We didn’t want to destroy society, without a plan of what to put in its place.  We wanted to change society, make it something better.  And I guess we did in a lot of ways.  I don’t mean “we” as in Svend and I single handedly, of course.’

‘I know what you meant,’ said Starsky.  His voice sounded a bit odd in his own ears.  ‘That B.C. Bud is really strong stuff.’

‘Yeah,’ said Grandmother.  ‘I’m glad I only brought the one joint, and now we’ve burnt all the evidence on the altar of our eternal friendship.  Are all the windows open?’

‘Yeah, I think so.’

‘Good.  Let’s see what else I have in my purse.  Oh, yeah. It’s just one bag of chips, but that’s better than nothing.  So, where was I?  Oh, yeah.  Svend and I.  The Counterculture.  Changing society.  Now, back then, I never would have dreamed I’d be sitting in a car chatting with a cop – a male cop who was married to my grandson – and smoking a joint with him.’

‘Mmmmm.’

‘We lived in the Village.’

‘Greenwich Village?’

‘The very same Village.  Have some chips.  We lived in the Village, a few blocks away from Christopher Street.  Now, I don’t know if you know this.  Some of my older gay friends – when I still had contact with them, and I must see if I can find them again – they used to complain young gay people didn’t know their history. When we lived in the Village, Svend and I started to meet gay people and it opened my eyes.  Svend’s eyes.  We’d had no idea.  I mean there were actual laws that made it illegal for two gay people to have a meeting just to talk.  You couldn’t drink in a bar if you were gay.  Two people of the same sex couldn’t dance together in public. And this was all besides the fact you could have gone to prison for years for having sex with another man.  Lesbians had it a bit easier, but not much.’

‘I knew some of this, yeah.’  Starsky started to feel a bit more awake, thank goodness.  The fresh air and the chips helped.  He should probably get out and stretch his legs soon. 

‘So, we were living in the Village in the summer of 1969.  We’d moved there after college.  I was working as a journalist, and I used to write for the Village Voice.  Svend was working as a graphic artist and a draughtsman.  One night in June we heard all this uproar in the streets, and we thought the Revolution had started.  And it had, I guess.’

‘That was the night the cops raided the Stonewall Inn?  Yeah, see, I do know some of my history.’

‘The Stonewall Inn was a real dump in those days.  Run by the Mafia. Drinks not much stronger than water, and they rinsed out used glasses in a bucket instead of washing them properly.  It’s famous now, of course.’

‘I’ve been there.  It’s all fixed up now.  Plaques on the walls telling the story. Rainbow flags everywhere.’

‘Svend and I didn’t know it was the gays fighting the cops.  Not until the next day.  Then we wished we’d gone out to join them, though they didn’t really need our help.’

‘They locked the cops inside the club and set fire to the doors!’  Starsky couldn’t help chuckling.  ‘One reason Hutch and me wanted to be cops was to change that whole macho anti-gay culture.’

‘Good idea.  The next day, there were huge crowds of people waiting for the cops to show up.  The fight went on for several days, but never really stopped I guess.’

‘That was when the Gay Liberation Front started.  And the Gay Activist Alliance.  And the first gay march in New York.  All before my time, of course.  But there are hundreds of gay cops now in Bay City alone.  Add in the rest of Greater LA, and we’re talking thousands.  Hutch and me belong to our local gay associations, but we don’t have many problems.’

‘Most of that’s in the past.’

‘Most of it,’ said Starsky.   ‘But Hutch… he’s really strong, really smart.  He keeps reminding us that gay people are only a small part of the population.  A minority group. And minority groups are often blamed for any disasters.’

‘Hurricanes. Tsunamis. Earthquakes.’

‘Droughts.  Floods.  Volcanoes.  Like Hutch says, if we had that kind of power, we wouldn’t have been shoved into the closet for so long.  He says that’s why we have to keep marching, keep working for stronger civil rights laws and so on.’

‘And what do you think?’ asked Grandmother.

‘Oh, I mostly agree with Hutch.  I mean I really agree with him.  He doesn’t dominate me.’

‘Oh, my dear, I never thought that.  I just wonder what your own thoughts are.’

‘When I first met him, I just imagined a sweet, simple romance. I was hoping it would be lifelong, but let’s be honest, I knew how difficult it would be.  Gay people don’t have the support straight people do – just the opposite. But Hutch… he turned out to be so much more than I thought he was at first.  I thought he was sweet and if not exactly simple… I don’t know how to describe how wrong I was.  He’s everything to me.  He’s in my bones now.  In my soul…  Why am I talking like this?   I’ve never talked like this to anyone.’

‘It’s the pot,’ said Grandmother.

‘No, it isn’t,’ said Starsky.  ‘I’ve smoked pot before, and I never spilled my guts like this.’

‘It’s okay.  I won’t tell anyone,’ said Grandmother.  ‘And we’re family, remember?’

‘Maybe we should head home soon.  I’m going to take a little walk to stretch my legs.’

‘Okay.  I’m going to sit behind the wheel and imagine I’m driving.  Don’t worry.  I’m not high enough to think I can.’

Starsky chuckled and got out of the Torino.  He took the keys with him, though.  Grandmother sat behind the wheel and made car noises.  Starsky walked up and down feeling his head clear and the deep desire to fall asleep gently wear off.

Then he heard a car approaching down the road from the highway.  It was a dark blue Mercedes.  The car pulled up and a tall, blond guy got out.  ‘Starsk?  What’s wrong?  That car break down, or something?’

‘No, Grandma and I were just having a little talk.’

‘A little talk?’  Hutch stalked up to him, and sniffed.  ‘David Starsky!  Are you high?’ 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Victoria Hutchinson sank back into her wheelchair, and looked down at her legs in despair.  ‘This is taking too long,’ she muttered.

‘You’re doing just fine,’ said Lucy Erickson.  ‘You have to give yourself time.  It’s only been a few days.’

‘Since I crawled out of my pit of despair?  My dear, the thing about getting old is that we don’t have enough time.  I don’t have all the time in the world to get back to walking.  This is important to me, to prove my independence, and to make sure those scumbags don’t get away with it.  Though I suppose I should be happy that they didn’t keep me drugged up and tied into my chair, with no outside contact at all.’

‘Oh, no.  Oh, no.  You have every right to be angry.  Just because they didn’t treat you as badly as they did Hutch, doesn’t mean they’re angels of mercy.  I don’t know why they did any of those things, to you or to him.’

‘They have sincerely held religious beliefs,’ said Victoria, with absolute loathing.   ‘I told them – all of them – that deeply held beliefs were all very fine, but they didn’t give you the right to be bigoted against other people or deprive them of their rights.  They whined and moaned that other people were the ones who were bigoted against them. Bah!’

‘I agree,’ said Lucy.  ‘Bah!’

Victoria looked up, her eyes suddenly bright again, reminding Lucy of her grandson’s.  ‘Lucy, my dear.  How would you like to get involved in a little more intrigue?’  She reached for her phone in her pocket, which rang as soon as she touched it.  ‘Woof!’ she said.  ‘Hello?  Hutchinson, here.  Oh.  Hello, Lottie.  What’s up?  Well, you know, Lottie.  I think I may just agree to meet with him, if you don’t mind. If you haven’t had enough of the Hutchinson Family dramatics.  No?  That’s good.  If you like, why don’t you call him back and set up an appointment around noon.  Lucy and I will be there around eleven…’  She raised an eyebrow at Lucy, who nodded and smiled back. ‘… to talk about my little plot that I just came up with.  Okay, see you then.’ 

Victoria smiled, and Lucy shuddered.  ‘You’re plotting?’ she said.  ‘I’m part of it?’

‘Yeah.  I want you to play the heavy.  You don’t want me to talk to this preacher I’m going to talk to.’

‘Preacher?  What preacher?  The one who’s been trying to get you to “come home”?’

‘The very one.  Now, I’m going to call Ken and David.  You think it’s safe?  It’s ten AM.’

Lucy grinned ‘I’m not sure, but give it a try.’

************

 

The phone rang.  The corded phone in their suite.  They’d turned off their cell phones, but forgotten about the land line.  Starsky groaned and reached for the receiver, finding it on the third try.  ‘Hello?’ he croaked. 

‘Oh!  Did I wake you?’

‘Grandmother!  No.  I’m wide awake.  What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing’s wrong.  I’m just going shopping for a new wardrobe of clothes from the 21st Century.  Lucy’s going to help me.  I wanted to let you and Ken know so you didn’t worry about me, okay?  I’ll see you later.’

‘Um… wait, Grandmother. Sure you don’t want us to come along?’

‘No need.  Neither of you strike me as the kind of gay man who enjoys shopping for women’s fashions.  I’ll be fine. See you later.’

‘Hmmm,’ said Starsky.

‘Whassamatter, Babe?’  Hutch crawled out of the warm nest of blankets they’d made in the bed, and sat up. ‘Everything okay?’

‘I guess so,’ said Starsky.  ‘Grandmother is going shopping. Wants a new wardrobe.’

‘What’s wrong with that?’

‘Nothing.  There was something a little odd in her voice, that’s all.  Like she was hiding something.’

‘Hey!  Is my grandmother a perp, and we have to interrogate her again?’

‘No.  No, let’s get back to what we were doing?’

‘Yeah, where were we again?’ 

Starsky snuggled back into their nest.  Hutch looked at his lover’s beautiful body.  It was covered with dark hair, different from his own pale form.  There were so many differences between them as people, physically, mentally and emotionally, and Hutch never had any feelings of boredom when he was with him. 

He drew Starsky down into his lap, fitted himself back inside the warmth of Starsky’s body where he belonged, and watched his lover’s eyes grow dark with passion.  He had to move, try to make them one flesh again.  Being apart, being separate beings, was only bearable when he knew they could be united again soon.  No one must be allowed to separate them. 

************

 

‘Okay.  You understand what I’m trying to do?  I don’t want any violence.  What I learn won’t be evidence in a court of law.  I want information only, that can lead to more information. The best way to get that is to lie to him, but I don’t care about that.  They lied to me.’

‘Don’t worry,’ said Lottie Warren.  ‘I’m on your side, remember?  The room is ready.  It’s a voice-activated recorder, well hidden.  He shouldn’t have any idea what you’re doing.’

‘Now, Lucy, go ahead and act as bossy and self-righteous as you want. The more to make him believe my story.’

‘No problem.  I wouldn’t enjoy being bossy with you under other circumstances, but to fool him?  Yes, Ma’am.’

Lottie’s assistant knocked on the door, opened it slightly, and murmured, ‘He’s here.’

‘Okay,’ said Victoria.  ‘Showtime, folks.’

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

‘No, no.  Now you listen to me, Lucy.  I was taught to be polite.  This gentleman wants to talk to me, so I will listen.’

‘He’s a bigot. He hates your grandson.  Why let him speak?’

Victoria saw the preacher’s face flush, but he did keep his cool and smiled at Lucy. ‘Miss Erickson,’ he said.  ‘I don’t hate anyone, let alone Mrs. Hutchinson’s grandson.  I’m sure Ken Hutchinson is a nice person, he’s just misguided.  Surely you can understand that his parents don’t want him to be gay?’

‘It’s none of their business, or yours, Mr. Miller,’ Lucy replied.  ‘He’s an adult….’

‘Then he should act like one and give up his disgusting learned behaviour, and change.’  The preacher looked a little less banal, but still smiled bravely.

‘Mr. Miller, why don’t we find a private room in which to hold our discussion in peace,’ said Victoria.  ‘Lottie, do you mind if we use this room?’  She turned the knob on the door to the room Lottie told her had been bugged.

‘Not at all, Victoria,’ said Lottie Warren.  ‘Take as long as you like.’

Lucy looked outraged, and sputtered something about Ken Hutchinson not being pleased.  Preacher Miller looked pleased, and escorted Victoria into the private chamber.  Victoria gave Lucy a discreet wink, and closed the door behind them.

‘Please, Preacher, have a seat,’ Victoria said, indicating the chair across the table from her own, where she could keep an eye on him.  Mr. Miller opened his tightly buttoned jacket a little, and placed his briefcase carefully on the table in front of him.  ‘Now, please tell me what this is all about.  I mean the urgency.  What is it you are worried about, exactly?’

‘Your son and daughter are concerned about you, Mrs. Hutchinson.  You have left the safety of the Home they placed you in, and are socializing with immoral people, like your grandson and his….’

‘Husband?’

‘Friend.’

‘I think they’re more than friends,’ Victoria clarified.

‘That’s the point.  That’s what they’re worried about.’

‘Exactly what do my son and daughter-in-law think my grandson and his ‘friend’ are going to do to me? I mean, explain their opinion on the matter, and yours as well, if you please.’

‘If you can’t see….’

‘No, I can’t, Preacher.  I can’t see what is in your heart and mind.  Please explain it to me.’  Victoria wondered if she was tipping her hand by disagreeing so strongly like this, but the preacher didn’t strike her as the sort of smooth politician, who is good at seeing through deception and hiding his own thoughts about things.  She had interviewed that sort of man many times, and knew the animal.  She worked on her face and voice to project the need to understand.

‘Mrs. Hutchinson, I’m sure you love your grandson, and wish him the best.  Let me assure you that his present circumstances are very dangerous for him.’

‘In what way?’ Victoria allowed alarm to enter her voice.

‘I’m sure you know that when he was young, he was lured into the evils of homosexuality.  His parents sent him to be cured.’

‘Yes?  Where was that, again?  That was years ago, and my memory isn’t so good.’

‘Why does it matter where?’

‘Mr. Miller.  How can you explain why my grandson is in danger, and why his parents are so concerned unless you explain all the circumstances?  Why should I just believe everything you say unless you give me some evidence.  Who were these people who were supposed to cure him and why didn’t they?’  Victoria held her breath, and attempted to keep her face trusting and appealing.

‘They sent him to a camp that specialized in curing homosexuals and other sexual deviants,’ the preacher said at last.  ‘It was run by the Fellowship.  The…the Family, and they’re usually quite successful at these cures, but once Ken got out into the world again, I suppose the homosexuals recruited him back to their evil ways again.’

Victoria ignored the statement about the ‘family’ and questioned the preacher about recruitment.  ‘Do you have proof that homosexuals recruit?’ she asked.  ‘Ken said nothing about that.’

‘They all lie,’ the preacher replied.  ‘It’s the demon inside them.  That’s what the camp tried to beat out of him, and they were successful for a while.  You know he got married to a woman and all seemed well.’

‘Ah. Yes.  Now I remember.  How do they beat out the demons?’

‘I’m not sure I should….’

‘Oh, come on!  I need to know.  How else can I know what to do?’

Mr. Miller looked peeved, and shut his eyes for a moment, and Victoria thought she’d lost him.  But then he sighed and gave in.  ‘I know this sounds cruel,’ he said.  ‘But it’s the only way. The Family tried gentler methods, but they didn’t work.  Then they used electroshock therapy and, well, beatings.  They also punished Ken by feeding him less. They were trying to force out the demon, and it worked.  But of course, demons can return if people aren’t vigilant.’

Victoria smiled.  ‘Yes, they can indeed.’

Mr. Miller smiled back at her.  ‘I hope all this has helped you to see our good work, and how important it is.  If Ken isn’t yet recruiting innocent children to his cause, he will soon, I’m sure.  He may actually be out right now, finding children to tempt into sin, and we need to stop him.’

‘I… I’m sure that’s not what he’s doing right now,’ said Victoria.  ‘Thanks for the information, and I’ll get back to you. Do you have a business card, or a pamphlet or something?’

The preacher hunted through his briefcase, and produced several pamphlets.  ‘I can be reached at this number here, or at this email address,’ he said.  ‘And our website has more information, if you’re interested.’

‘Oh, I’m very interested.  Thank you again.  As I said, I’ll get back to you.’

‘I hope to hear from you soon,’ said the preacher.  He shook her hand, gathered up his briefcase, and walked out the door.

‘Dear God,’ said Victoria. 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

‘You – you did what?’  Hutch was in full rant mode.  ‘How could you endanger yourself like that?  I only wanted you to think back to those days, not actually re-visit them…God knows what he might be planning as an encore…They already practically imprisoned you in that Home…Now that you’ve broken out, you risk being shoved back in?’

Grandmother sat back with a calm smile on her face and waited for Hutch to wind down.  ‘My dear,’ she said.  ‘I know how to deal with these people, believe me.  I’ve been doing it for years.’

‘Famous last words.’

‘Yes, you’re right, which is why I’ve set up various safeguards to protect myself.  They’re not about to assassinate me -- or kidnap me in broad daylight, either.  They want me on their side, not dead.  Maybe only because they’re not sure about my will, but still….’

Hutch sighed.  He sank down on the sofa between Starsky and his grandmother, and put his head in his hands.  ‘I’m not trying to run your life,’ he said.  ‘It’s…I only just found you again.’

‘I know, my dear,’ she replied.  ‘And I only just found you.  I can’t help feeling guilty that I didn’t do more for you when I might have really helped…no, listen.  I did try, but I keep hearing Yoda in my head, you know.  There is no try, only do or don’t do.  Or something like that.  But we’ve found each other, and if you like, we can forget all about greater knowledge and just retribution and enjoy our lives from now on.’

‘Or we can try to shut down those places, and that will require a bit of spying, and going public with our discoveries -- which might be dangerous,’ said Starsky. 

‘It might be,’ Grandmother acknowledged.  ‘Let me tell you what I’ve discovered so far, okay?  I have a CD copy of the audio tape we made, and another copy is safely in my bank box.  Pastor Miller confesses that the camp you attended tortured you.  We already knew that, so it’s nothing new, but we have evidence for it beyond your word now.  He told me the organization that ran that camp were called the Family. Or the Fellowship.  He called them by both names.’

Starsky sat up straighter and grabbed Hutch’s arm.  ‘I’ve been doing a lot of reading about anti-gay fundamentalist groups,’ he said.  ‘They seem to be synonymous.  I mean, if a group is fundamentalist, they’re anti-gay, at least.  Perhaps all anti-gay groups aren’t fundamentalist, but….’

‘If they aren’t fundamentalist, they’re into power. Total power over their constituents.  They cover this up by stirring up hatred against a minority group that can be used as scapegoats.’ Hutch shook his head.  ‘It’s a very useful technique, and a distracting one.’

‘Dangerous, too,’ said Starsky.  ‘I came across a mysterious group called The Family – or The Fellowship.  Perhaps it’s the same as Grandmother’s group. It’s based in Washington but carries out various activities around the world.  Recently they’ve been working in Uganda and the Ugandan government has introduced a bill which will make homosexuality a capital offense.  A guy called Scott Lively.  Someone else called Richard Cohen – if he’s Jewish I have a bone to pick with him.  Do those names ring a bell, Babe?’

‘Richard Cohen?  Didn’t he write a book?  Claiming that gay people were child molesters?’

‘Sounds familiar.  I need to go back and check on that.’

‘Later,’ said Hutch.  ‘What else did you learn, Grandmother?’

‘Miller gave me his card, and a pamphlet.  He directed me to a web site, and Lucy and I checked it out.  It’s full of the usual mis-information about gay people, of course.  Testimony from happy ex-gays.  Pictures of them sitting around a camp fire, grinning from ear to ear.’

‘Ex-gays always have a big smile, no matter what is going on in their lives,’ said Hutch.  ‘They have to convince themselves and everyone else that they’re happier now they’re straight.  The smiles are a sign you’ve been saved.  If you stop smiling someone will come around and re-save you.’

‘I need to check out that website,’ said Starsky. 

‘So?’ said Grandmother. ‘Are we going to keep working on this, my dear?  Or do we drop it?  Whatever you want to do, because it’s your life.’

Hutch swung his long legs up onto the sofa, and leaned against Starsky.  ‘It’s not just my life,’ he said.  ‘It’s the lives of all gay people affected by these so-called therapists.  People need to know the truth about what they do.  I’ve been lucky.  I survived and now I have Starsky in my life – and you and Barbara.  Other people weren’t so fortunate.’

‘Okay,’ said Grandmother.  ‘I have some suggestions.  To start… what do you say we write a book?’

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

Starsky was walking through woods, through mist, through a strange landscape full of fear and doubt.  He whispered a name he had never spoken before, and as the name left his lips, he forgot it.  He tried to walk silently, but his feet still crunched the leaves and bark and bones upon the woodland path. 

He could hear breathing, then a soft cry, then silence. 

Up ahead, on the path, something was hanging from the branch of a tree.  This was something which never grew from trees in nature that he had ever seen.  He drew closer to the tree and studied the strange fruit.  The body – for that’s what it was – swung upon the rope and turned slowly, until the swollen, distorted face looked right into his. 

He cried out and sat up in bed. At the same moment, Hutch cried out and sat up beside him. 

‘Starsk?  Starsk? Where are you?’

‘Right here, love.'  Starsky turned on the bedside lamp.  'Wake up.  I’m okay.  It was just a dream.’

‘Not a dream. A nightmare.  You…you were dead.  In a tree.  Dead.  In a tree.  Dead.’

‘No.  I’m here, alive.  Feel me. See?’

Hutch bent over his hands and kissed them, then put his head in Starsky’s lap.  He sighed.  ‘You’re alive,’ he said.

‘You were having that dream,’ said Starsky.  ‘The one about the boy who killed himself.’

‘He hanged himself.  In the woods.  But he had your face.’

‘God.  Babe.  Is all this revisiting and remembering too much?’

‘No!’  Hutch raised his head and glared up at Starsky, his eyes blazing.  ‘It’s a wake-up call.  I know I said I doubted that writing a book would fix anything.  I do have doubts sometimes about what I’m doing – trying to do.  Who am I to speak up?  Who am I to make your life a misery?  No!  I do, Starsky.  I’m not…not easy to live with….’

‘You’re not easy,’ said Starsky.  ‘Nothing worth having is easy.  And you, my love, are worth having.’

Hutch sprang out of bed and stalked about the hotel bedroom.  His nude body was so beautiful and Starsky loved every atom of it.  ‘But I keep asking more and more of you.  If Grandmother and I write a book, you might become known to the press as my partner, my husband.’

‘I’m already known as your husband, and I’m not complaining.’

‘Mostly the local press and the gay press,’ said Hutch, dismissively.  ‘If the book gets a lot of attention then so might you.  That’s all I’m saying.  We need to think about how it might affect you, as well as Grandmother and me.’

‘Then we’ll think about all of that,’ said Starsky.  ‘But don’t try to make me out to be a weak link, or some kind of victim.’

‘No!  That’s not what I think,’ said Hutch.  ‘You’re my rock.  You’re like the Rock of Gibraltar.  I don’t know how I survived without you.  But I don’t want to use you….’

‘Use me,’ said Starsky.  ‘It’s why I was born.’

‘No!’ said Hutch again.  ‘Why should you have to suffer over everything that I go through?’

‘Because we’re one.  One person.  I dream in your dreams.’

Hutch moaned a little, and came back to bed, crawling in beside Starsky, and putting his head on Starsky’s shoulder. 

Starsky went on, ‘What I might be suffering now – and I don’t agree it’s suffering, but whatever – it’s nothing like gay people have suffered in the past.  We survived the Plague, and came out stronger, not weaker.  We’re the only people, as far as I know, to fight back against a disease and not give in.  Not one inch. We fought the government, the medical establishment, and all those bigots out there who said AIDS was a punishment from God.  That was only a few years ago, and look at us now.  The big fight now is to be able to get married. Who’d’a’thunk it!’

Hutch chuckled.  ‘That wasn’t actually us, Babe.’

‘Not you and me personally, but it was us.  We’re gay. Are we gonna give in?’

‘No,’ said Hutch.  ‘I don’t want to give in.  I don’t want you to give in.  I need to know you’re with me by choice.’

‘Always. Every inch of the way.’  Starsky ran his hand down Hutch’s side, loving the silky skin.  ‘I’m yours, and I don’t care who knows it.  If we wake up in the morning and this hotel is besieged by the press from all over the world demanding to speak to me as Detective Ken Hutchinson’s husband, I’m right here, and I’m staying here.  Okay?’

‘Okay,’ said Hutch.

‘So?  You gonna write this book?’

‘Yeah,’ said Hutch.  ‘I’m gonna.  I’m gonna write it for all those tortured kids and for that boy I found hanging from the tree.  And for you.’

‘For me?’

‘For you. Because the boy had your face in my dream.’

He had your face in mine, thought Starsky, but he didn’t say the words. Hutch had enough to deal with.  Starsky drew him down into his arms, and showed him all his love and devotion until they both fell back into sleep.  If they dreamed, they didn’t remember the dreams in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As I pointed out in my reply to a comment a few days ago, the Cure the Gays Camps do exist, and are not regulated by anyone, since they're run by religious groups, and psychologists of every stamp have disinherited the whole concept of Reparative Therapy. There is a movie coming out sometime this autumn, called Boy Erased, that deals with this topic. I didn't know about the movie before I started this story line, but that's okay. People need to know the camps are practicing torture of one kind or another -- mental, emotional, physical, or all three -- and it's legal, even though it's practiced against children, sent there by their parents, for something that isn't even a crime. :-(

 

‘Your grandmother is awesome,’ Lucy announced as she let Hutch and Starsky into Grandmother’s suite the next morning.  ‘She’s just bursting with plans, and it’s scary but it’s great too, you know?’

‘Yeah,’ said Hutch, faintly. 

They could hear Grandmother in the background, talking on the phone. She looked up and saw them, and said, ‘That all sounds great, Rob.  I’ll get back to you with more details, okay?  Talk to you then.’ 

She hung up and turned to Hutch, holding out her hands.  ‘Well, dear?’ she asked. 

‘Yes,’ said Hutch.  ‘I’ll do it.’

‘Well, that’s good, my dear, but you don’t sound very enthusiastic.’

‘I am.  In a way.  It’s a necessary thing.’

‘A necessary evil, you mean?  Listen, I have some ideas to make it more palatable.  I hope.  Let me tell you what I’ve decided to do myself, and then some of the ideas I have about what you can do.  If you want, I mean.  I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything.’

‘I don’t feel pressured by you, Grandmother.  Only by the dead.’

‘The dead?’

‘Friends of mine.  Friends who committed suicide.  They haunt me.’

‘I guess they do,’ said Grandmother.  ‘Now listen.  It’s not easy writing a book, ever, but I want to make things as easy as possible for you.  I don’t want you burning out over this.  But first, I talked to Barbara on the phone, and she gave me some interesting information.  I don’t want to be living here in Duluth when the truth gets out.  Savvy?  Okay, so I’m moving to Minneapolis.  Lucy is going to be with me as my amanuensis, helping me to write and to do research.  We have some ideas about how she might be able to get college credit for her research and so on, but more about that later.  Next up, is the fact that I tracked down an old friend of mine from years ago. He’s still working a bit in publishing, and he tells me he could get us a contract to publish the book.  He says there should be a lot of interest, because of all the discussions over same-sex marriage.  He lives in Boston.’

‘Boston!’ Starsky interrupted.  ‘Hutch and me thought about going off to visit his Alma Mater.  That’s nearby, right?’

‘Yes.  We could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak,’ said Hutch.  He sounded a little mystified by how everything seemed to be falling into place, and kind of forcing his hand.

‘Good idea,’ said Grandmother.  ‘Now, like I said, I’ve been thinking about how we could work out the logistics of you writing a book whilst working as a cop full time. That wouldn’t be easy, to say the least.  So, what do you say to applying for a leave of absence, and I’ll make it up to you financially?  This book is important to me, and you’ve told me it is to you as well.’

Hutch was silent for a long moment, just staring at his grandmother.  ‘That’s…that’s incredibly generous of you…’ he began. 

‘Not at all,’ she replied.  ‘The idea was mine, and I persuaded you to join in.  I can afford to make sure you don’t burn out while we carry out my ambition.’

‘I’m not sure the BCPD will approve my application for a leave of absence to write a book that has nothing to do with the BCPD,’ said Hutch.

‘How about if you go back to school,’ Starsky suggested.  ‘Go to UCI, and study criminology.’

‘Would that be fair to you?’ asked Hutch.

‘Why not?  I’m in line to be promoted to sergeant soon, before you, ‘cause I was in the army.  You need to keep up, Hutch.  If you take a year off, you’ll lose seniority, but if you spend the time studying up on the latest theories about the bad guys, they’ll love you.’

‘Good point’, said Grandmother.  ‘What do you think, Ken?’

Starsky understood Hutch’s hesitancy with new ideas, until he’d studied them from every angle.  Grandmother seemed to understand too.  They left Hutch to his thoughts, and went over to Grandmother’s new laptop, upon which she had started writing up notes for the book. 

‘Here’s my plan,’ she told Starsky.  ‘We have three major threads:  Ken’s story, my story, and the history of so-called Reparative Therapy.  I’ll tell my story, Ken will tell his, and you and Lucy could work on writing up the story of the Cure the Gays Camps.  You’ve already started on that, right?’

‘Yes, but it’s mostly surface stuff, off the computer,’ said Starsky.

‘But it’s a beginning.  A framework.  We’ll need deeper research, but we can work on that.  In the meantime....’

‘In the meantime, I’m in,’ said Hutch.  ‘I won’t be able to go on leave right away, but I can start the ball rolling.’

‘Okay,’ said Grandmother.  ‘Here we are, The Four Musketeers!’

‘Which of us is which?’ asked Starsky.

Grandmother answered, ‘Let’s roll dice for it!’

 


End file.
